Not that inconvenient

Thanks to Mr Lee I saw 'An Inconvenient Truth' over the weekend. Granted that the graphs are impressive and it is actually a BIG deal the damage we are causing to our planet. There is something that I however don't get. The 'movie' was distributed by one of the big houses (was it Universal?) and the theme song even won an Oscar. When did the US began attacking the US? One might say that having Michael Moore's documentaries in Blockbuster is actually a proof of the freedom of speech... but 'the US and A' are legendary for their calculated steps. What lies behind this massive 'consciousness attacks'?

I read a study from Bristol University about why people fall in love. Same yadda-yadda on lust-love-oxytocin-adaptation, but there was an interesting experiment:

• Find a complete stranger.
• Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
• Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love. He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.

The 'Inconvenient Truth' movie made me think that USA is playing politics' neurolinguistics - the provocations are not really provocations, all the effects are measured. If you see the movie thinking 'why is it so accessible?' and remember that the US refused to sign the Kyoto protocol, then Al Gore and all his good intentions look rather suspicious. And more due to the huge amount of money put into making his speeches known.

Despite Iraq, the petrol era seems to have reached an end due to the development of other non-fossil fuels, such as ethanol (which by the way, caused a shortage of corn in the US, hence the prices of corn in Mexico increased dramatically). Here's my hypothesis: the 'save the rainforest' Al Gore's speech wants to make oil less popular to drive the attention of the world from the producing countries and vindicate the US as the good guys. Bush beat Gore. And Bush is a petrol guy. It is about time for him to be the bad guy.

Anyway. Better to focus my attention on something else than world's evil mechanisms.

Carpe Diem=Seize the Day. Carp in Denim=Fish in pants.

I found Jesus...

...he was behind the sofa all the time!

Chaos Theory

I should hope that my success will have been to reach a higher level and love another. Not to make another an object but simply one to love. No colours, no paper and no questions.

This quote has been trying to tell me something since I read it. The separation between the material and the emotional search is quite a concept, but why only one to love? I would rather say only love.

Leonard Cohen lived for a while in a monastery. He said that things became a lot easier when he no longer expected to win. What I guess my favourite contemporary philosopher (Alexis D) has to say about reaching a higher level is precisely what Leonard Cohen intended-we are surrounded by so many material objects of desire that what the heart wants is very, very hidden. For that you need silence, don't you? And even love can be noisy, so what a dilemma.

Anyway, I figured out that one can surf through life sporting some 'Chaos Theory' - everything looks random, but there is an underlying pattern. Can chaos theory be applied to people, fate, relationships? Here's one idea: do not worry about the external randomness, but let the heart speak on what is 'not right' and the underlying pattern will be apparent.

Did I get it right?

It's a kind of magic

I felt asleep this morning at exactly 05:57 because the last thing I did was telling Max on the phone that being around him rocks. There are tons of good memories to warm up this cold Sat: my Danish name shall be 'Ingeborg' (?), gay bars have the best music, pretty shoes can kill you when walking on snow, and Billie Jean is not my lover.

The best was however a silent moment - while walking out from the bar, the first thing I saw was the Cathedral. I have never been there, but that was the first place my brother proactively visited when he was here (and showed me pictures... shame on Ingeborg). I thought about him and how small details can twist the path of fate.

Explaining: Little brother can say 'Stockholm' and I would drop everything and buy the Leica of my dreams. He makes me follow dreams, or at least test-drive them. One of my Copenhagean friends told me that he could not see the magic in people anymore. And that he doesn't feel others see his magic either. In my case, brother talks magic with every word he says because I am very receptive to his opinions.

The clue about understanding other human beings is the willing to do it. Making friends is actually NOT easy - requires for you to listen, listen, listen, so one day you understand and there are no explanations between the two of you needed. One definitely attract the friends one deserves. Guess I did something good in my past lives, because I find people around me absolutely fantastic...

If a person should ever like a person

Yesterday at lunch, Ana* said that Kundera is the kind of writer that you actually highlight and read again.

*Not Ana-me, a better version - Ana Segurado.

So now that I am revisiting 'Laughable Loves' have folded a lot of pages in the book. There's one concept that I have been chewing for the last days: Desire.

Exhibit A:

-It is well known that you are like death: you take everyone. Why do you reject Alzbeta?
-Perhaps because she expresses her desire in such an open way, that it feels like an order. Not even Death is pleased to take orders.

Exhibit B:

How was it possible that his desire was so strong that reality came running to the call, ready to happen?

Exhibit C:

-You are here. Did you change your mind?
-No. YOU changed my mind.

(Have to admit that the third quote comes from 'The O.C.')

So 'when you wish upon a star' are you actually making the magic happen? I don't really think so. But desire is something extremely tangible - the expression of it, its sensuality and corporalisation is how we can touch it. When desire comes both ways, there are sparkles, when it doesn't, we call it obssession and run away. We human beings are a bunch of chickens. And the egg was first.

Assaulting Beauty

I've always had a weak spot for people able to create - musicians, singers, writers... even for those who manage to clap their hands in a different way. The ability to transform impressions into expressions is a gift that the worlds seems to oversee.

So I went to see 'An Outsider in French Art' today - a small exhibit on André Derain. What I knew of him was that he used to 'assault beauty' with big strokes and very few colours: the sky is green, the water is yellow. By the time he began painting (early XXth Century), the world had already got over Manet, Renoir, and the impressionist gang, so he landed on soft cotton. Even more, he was a friend of Matisse and practically all the A-list people of his time: Picasso, Braque, Apollinaire.

But then the fantastic fauve turned into what you become when you grow up. War came, disenchantment hit and it is possible to see in his later works that he just... got serious. Go back to classics, do paintings that people hang in the living room, follow the main stream with a twist and live a glamourous life. The guy was without a doubt highly talented and knew what he was doing, but the passion of the wonderful 'wild animal' strokes only lasted three years. Three amazing years though. Hope he got his chance to take a bow.

If there's one thing that I hate... is everything

-The Annoying Devil from 'Balls of Steel'.

Love is a racket

I have no troubles travelling alone (or is it 'with myself'?), but Berlin is a bit too much. I don't know why. Perhaps I am rather scared of finding too many amazing places, feel like saying: 'Holly crap, would you look at that' and get a busy tone. Here is where a boyfriend might come handy. And also for the zillion dinner parties I plan to make in the months to come, I guess...

One part of me, however, doesn't wanna bother. Is it too cynical to say that there's this specific European piece of DNA that makes me shiver just by being around, but that I manage each and every time I see him to shut down the adrenaline?

Love is quite a nuisance. And I know because I used to fall in love 4 times a day, in average.

Nothing bitter here, but have to tell the pink nipple story.

Okay. I used to go to the gym in Mexico and showering had to ways: 1) You're all sweaty, pack your stuff, get in your car and drive home to take a shower, or 2) You're all sweaty, get into the shower cabin, close it, get off your clothes, take a shower, get out again completely dressed and looking spectacular. Alternatively, you get dressed in the aisle using 347 moves to use the towel as a tent.

So at my first day at Charlottehaven, I noticed the showers had no 'doors'. Alright. Ana thinks 'let's be progressive' and makes a rather nice strip-tease to the enjoyment of two Danish grannies and the cleaning lady. But when I was walking to the showers and thinking about how good it feels, there was this spot of pink right in front of my eye. It took me like three seconds to realise the pink spot belonged to a very tall girl that was drying her hair naked as if she were in her bedroom. Aloha DK!

But where does it all come into picture? After some time of stripping at the gym (less and less sexier, must admit), I adore to see that everybody around looks rather comfortable in their skin and that's the way love should feel. When you find somebody that appreciates your wobbly bits as much as you hate them, that's the one to let the adrenaline run for. And then show him/her the Reichstag.

Things you don't really need to know

• I hate doing dishes. Sometimes a big pile of dirty pots makes me wanna cry.
• My favourite word in French is 'allure'.
• I have a natural talent for eating 'la fondue' - never drop pieces of bread inside the pot and can manage the melting cheese rather neatly.
• Have been in 33 countries so far. And I hate landings - always feel we're all gonna die.
• My favourite words in Danish are: Ligeglad (don't care), vigtigt (important), meget gerne (very much), tjekket (cool), fantastisk (ummhhh...), nå! (nå), and Gilleleje (this one is a place with a crunchy name - never been there).
• Find sleeping with socks rather comfortable. I am not a sexy sleeper. Sorry.
• My brother is named 'Carlos' because I thought all the babies were called that way (and my parents found that amusing).
• Have done yoga but the meditation part does not work - when I go find a happy place in my mind, it is inevitably 'dreamland'.
• I blush with the word 'naked' - each and every time.
• Have been working in shipping for almost FIVE years!
• My favourite cravings are not cigarrettes and chocolate milk, are actually tomato juice (with Worcestershire sauce) and kiwis (even bought an overpriced kiwi-spoon).
• I actually wanted to study Mechanical Engineering but I am really slow at Math. No rainman here, so don't take me to Vegas!
• Can cook. Love cooking.
• I sing and dance regularly in the shower with a lot of inspiration. And it is sometimes embarrasing when I shower at the gym.
• Whoever invented the treadmill is in my hall of fame. I love jogging.
• My favourite wiking is Max.

When I was younger, so much younger than today

There are times when one is just plain stupid. For example, when you tell somebody when's the baby due and she says: 'What baby?'. Or when you are playing strip-poker and get too cold that you can only focus on which of the heaters might be turned off... and actually forget other things being 'turned on'.

But other than all these romantic-comedy-sex-and-the-city situations, there are days when it is the feelings talking and seems there is nothing to do about it. Here is where 'the Philosopher' comes into picture. By reading this thing about the pursue of the good, found out a notion - souls, not people, can be 'young'. A 'young soul' is dominated by passion (would love to say 'the empire of the passion' but somebody else took the name and made a semi-porn arty movie out of it), and is lead by the immediate satisfaction. So I guess there is a difference between the people that goes to the best of the steak at once and the weirdos like my cousin Manolo that always saved the yummiest for last.

I've been thinking about 'young attitudes' for a couple of days. Aristotle also said that there's a difference between obeying the reason and using it to think. 'I think therefore I am'? It is not that simple. Seems that it not only depends on the size of your goal, but in their perfect and definitive nature. Quite a challenge. My soul, by the way must be around 7 - I could still have chocolate ice-cream instead of dinner and find pleasure in braking Jell-O with a spoon.

Blogito, ergo sum.

Stockholm Syndrome

The 'fuzzy logic' is a logical system that allows degrees of truth.

Here it goes what the Oxford Companion to Philosophy has to say about it: 'Fuzzy logic does justice to the intuitive idea that some indicative sentences are not wholly true and not wholly false'.

So, I spent some days talking to my brother and wondering why he sees the world in such a different way and our lives seem to work fine. It is not just about religion or big vs. small cities - it is the whole idea of dwelling in a state of denial (that one being me) or not (that one being him).

What I actually want to take from Herr Doktor are two interesting notions:

First - I am into aesthetics. Not sure what it means or if it will do me good, but I love form and like being surrounded by prettiness (stuff, people, kitchen gear, post-its in technicolor...). Brother said however that one should actually look for the 'soul aesthetics', as this world has enough of finger-pointing and plastic surgeries. Not bad, uh? It is scary but I will actually try to be a better person, to smile, to tolerate, to understand. And above all, not to be afraid of others getting too close that I lose my way. Outside from any religious connotation, he gave me a key to achieve this 'pretty soul' - it is necessary to pursue 'virtue', which is the middle point between excess and defect (lack of).

Second - Friendship. Not sure I got this from him, but the 'enlightment' came while in Stockholm. True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable. I have been OH-SO-SCARED of silence for so many years that I don't think I have achieved many friendships upon the terms of equality. In art you call it 'fear of the vacuum' ('miedo al vacío') - the artist gets just too terrified when there are white spaces, so you can see some paintings with a small dog, or a vase, or a person that was not even in the story. Why is silence so scary? Is it because then the image falls and there's only what your imagination has to add? Is it because we are afraid of boring people or boring ourselves?

Coming back to fuzzy logic, the alluring part of it is that the notion takes stress from people that is happy by mediating and convincing others - I realised recently that one does not always have to win. You have your truth, I have mine, and that doesn't give me a headache, but makes my world richer. Bugger off.

PS: The pic above happened in Stockholm. I plan to move there and marry a Rufus Wainwright's hetero-look-alike.