Life's so fucking difficult when you're not stupid.That is how I began talking about philosophy with my philosopher friend (quite a convenient combination) the other night while trying to watch 'Reservoir Dogs'.
Philosophy, in brief, is a world I've been always scared of. Why? Because my life's tactic is never going back, erase and rewind, will think about it tomorrow. But I got to think that sometimes it's good to exhaust all possible explanations and reach a conclusion that might not be apparent (if the bottle of whisky has kids that are called Michael, then they are sheep, therefore all lambs are called Michael if they were born from a bottle of whisky). Cheers for that one, and swear it came out before the whisky bottle was half empty (or half full...).
So, why Teletubbie land? This fear I have of thinking about reality might be sometimes a cover of what lies behind. From the same failed Reservoir Dogs night, I got to know that for each bit of humanity we get, we give up the same bit of liberty. Explaining: We, social beings, are constantly aware of the reactions we cause on others hence some freedom goes away (even by us no being aware of it) as soon as we interact. For some earthlings the weight of the external approval becomes a burden. I thought about this guy called 'Lanz' I knew of in high school, who one night decided to hang himself. His written explanation was: 'Everything around makes me sad'. Everything around, not everything inside.
By living in a country were certainty is the rule, women call the shots, and you practically cannot get fired, began to feel somehow numb. But comfortably numb in the practical sense. I have been an spectator of this Scandinavian reality, a passionate girl who feels like the biggest mismatch that happened to this land since Asterix was here. What was missing? Nothing really. You have to change the focus from yourself sometimes, and enjoy being around.
And yes, we haven't reached Teletubbie Land yet. On Sunday I took my bike and went to see this Fredrik Raddum installation at the SMK. It was called 'Home Sweet Home' and it portrayed a) the perfect Nordic idea of a peaceful life and b) how can shit actually happen. Will try to describe it. Big room ('X-Rummet'), low lights, artificial grass you could step on and enormous cartoon flowers. In the middle, a 3D cartoon house, around 2.5 m tall, with a big cartoon tree smashing it in half. But inside the lights were still on and it looked 'hygge', cozy, as if the big accident never happened. What a wonderful provocation.
In a perfect land, the world can go crazy and nothing moves the self, because people here is used to things actually working at the end. From the adorable chaos I come from, we are used to nothing working, surprises happening and life interfering all the time with our plans ('You wanna make God laugh? Tell him about your plans'). This weekend the streets were 'on fire' due to a demonstration in Nørrebro. Kinda surprising seeing that from the helicopter view 'coz I've walked those streets, but thought that it was ACTUALLY shocking seeing some months ago the pictures of the exact moment when this indie American journalist died while trying to get a pic of the Oaxaca's 'demonstrations'. Not comparing at all, but what I mean to say is that depending on your background, things will touch you on a different way.
And then how easy it is to live life when you know nothing - wisdom and knowledge can cause pain, because you get eager to get more answers. Or you suddenly understand what lies behind - and you don't like it.
Greetz from Teletubbie Land.
2 comments:
Just to start off; some shots from the hip:
(*)First of all, I don't think Astrix ever made it as far as Denmark... And the Telletubies were born in England… Lego though…;-)
(*)Secondly; we humans put upon ourselves the burden of 'social awareness'. We even put the label 'funny' or 'crazy' on the ones that aren't socially adapted the way we are. Question should be; shouldn't we envy those people?
(*)Growing up, everybody gets thought, especially when things get rough, ‘to put things into perspective’. But no one ever tells you that putting things into perspective is really hard with the ever changing lighting while changing sunglasses every few moments….
[Here we go…:]
Coming from a northern European country, I recognize a lot of your story in myself (of course the subject of your story, not your experiences). When everything is organized, it ‘ll work out in the end. To me, living in a country where every day brings it’s own surprises, some pleasant, some less pleasant, would be a constant battle. Why?
Because the people in those countries are different. Have different temperaments, different passions, different believes… Which is better? ‘Dunno.’ What’s better; work your northern #ss off and die young because of stress or live your life free of stress, but with to much worldly lusts and die at a young age as a result of that.
I’m born and raised in a country that basically says; How cares? If you want to work your #ss off, have fun. If you want to party all your life, be my guest. Want drugs, here you go! Same-sex-relationships, not a problem (oh wait, I DO agree on that one). But is that a way to run society?
Oh ‘hekk’, now I fell in my own trap! Who is society to run my life? To tell me what I should think of things? How I should judge others? What I’m supposed to find repulsive? When I should break out in tears?
I think our problem is, that each and every one of us (me including) want to belong somewhere. We want to have some place we want to call home, in a social and spiritual kind of way. We want this so much; no better put, we genetically are programmed in a way that we automatically adept to the general attitude we grow up with. So much that we forget that we are all born as individuals. How many lives have been ruined, just because someone either wished not to be ‘part of the local consensus of life’ or, as you briefly described Lanz’s tragedy, couldn’t cope with the ‘local consensus of life’.
You might ask me the question whether I liberated me form this herd-thinking? I live in a very open and liberal country. Nevertheless, even in this country, people have been born and raised to be a part of the community as well. And either one fits in a community, or one doesn’t. And being part of any community means being (consciously or unconsciously) being forced to a certain view on life, view on love and view on people.
Does that satisfy my need for the freedom of creating my own frame of reference? No, not at all! It helps me though, respecting all beings (yes that includes humans) in all their particularities. And for the rest of it, we all have to come to grips with the fact that the world is at good as it gets.
If this (at this moment) means, in your own perspective, the world s#cks… then just do as I do: Put your lights out, a long time before you go to bed and let the world run itself for a while; tomorrow there will be a new day of ‘wondering where you belong’ and ‘how to put things into perspective’.
dan'
One clarification: Asterix WAS in Scandinavia. And there's a movie to prove it!
Have never blamed you, North Europeans, for your lack of exposure to the world. Neither have I complaint about your sterilized life, as things are as they are.
But still have my issues with this whole 'branding' idea - will borrow this from Jesper B: Some people go to a spa not to feel good, but to say 'I went to a spa'. Although everybody has his share of branding, if you make it your ultimate goal, then one day you'll lose it. Get into the world, let the feelings happen, do something out of range! Here's Miss Risk-Averse talking though... pushing the line a bit can give colours to gray. And then you can actually sleep with a wider smile on your face at night.
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