Instant Karma

I said goodbye to Bus yesterday and my heart broke a little. I did not expect it - although I'm crazy about him despite he tells everybody how I walked home once wearing his shoes, there is always something 'normal' about waving at people... we live these lives feeling immortal and hoping all things do actually return.

What I found out later was that when I hugged him I thought - 'He is such a decent guy' and wanted to cling to that feeling of people around being actually worthy. Here is what happens - met some guys recently and after sweet-talking to me, found out they are either married, engaged, committed or have four gorgeous yet illegitimate kids. So what's the big deal? Guess it is all about how tired I got in the last months of meeting people that do not speak up or try to hide stuff. This is the biggest difference between living in Denmark and in Mexico... I spent three years getting used to know the truth and the expectations upfront, not to build a castle that might then fall into pieces.

Well, I hope I don't sound like a drama queen - I am just a bit annoyed. But the sunny side (up) is that I have very decent friends. I cannot quote anyone or anything about what 'decency' means - I can only tell my own definition: Decent people are the ones that go through life with the same face and do his/her utmost not to hurt others on the way (though not always succeeding at it). Decency means truth, honesty and a clean karma; it has nothing to do with religious/social views but to treat everybody fairly. I do not think decent people cannot have fun or take a decision that might look wrong - if he/she has a truth to follow, the force of that determination must be on the light and be so strong that most of the people around respect it.

I hope I grow up to be a decent person although by calling myself Catholic I might be on my way to hell...