What else is there?

Off to London and New York in eight hours with a head full of thoughts and Röyksopp in the pocket. Let's see how the world looks from the other side.

Boys don't cry

Have realised recently that when I ride my bike, I start from the wrong side. Also, when I weigh ingredients, I reset the scale for each item instead of adding them. And I have a very cumbersome way to button my bra.

When you look confident, people gives for granted that you know it all - or at least that you are arrogant enough to find out. How simple would life be, how many minutes would be spared, if there was a manual for living. But no real guides to the galaxy. This makes me think that there are many ways to learn and one of them requires to lower your guard and be humble. Although the traditional definition is regarded as 'stop being arrogant', I think that being humble requires not to be afraid of people - look into the eyes, dare to smile, and understand that there will always be something in each person to take, and heaps to give. So I trust that in the future, if someone ever sees me doing a very, very stupid thing, he/she can understand that I have been afraid for too long, and that yes, I would love to land on the practical life one of these days.

Talking about openness, ran into this today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

The video above relates to the 'Free Hug Campaign'. A hippish Aussie decided to offer free hugs on the street. You have to watch what happens. Cannot imagine it staged in Denmark though... 'Gratis kram'... umhhh... nej nej nej.

To break a bit the Kodak moment, I youtubed Mexico for this campaign. Great success, but no wonder, we do hug and kiss and hug again for everything. Yet it is funny to watch that men shake hands before hugging other men; macho comes first, then they are all allowed to be as sissy as they want. Quite a paradox my culture - hug and kiss people you barely know, but never, ever tell how do you really feel, specially if the answer diverts from 'great'. Still watching the hugs made me feel like crying, because I miss it so badly. And the problem is that I don't cry.

PS: This other campaign definitely kills the romance... : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooHYh4sD75I

Self-destruct Button

How come that when you finally have reached your peace, and respect your body, and sex as a bed time story, and the expectations line up in the future clearer than ever, and you are going to Munich next weekend, you wake up feeling you are coming down with a cold? Funky feeling, I am not sick but I'm dizzy, and chewing leftovers for breakfast, and since yesterday taking painkillers with chocolate milk... or water... or beer. Despite I have never been THAT self-destructive (pretty much on the Scarlett O'Hara's side of life: Will think about it tomorrow), just for half a morning I'm allowing it. Painkillers for my heart that is broken and hurts. Does it work that way? Hope it doesn't because I'm running out of Tylenol.

Just... ouch.

A kind of disguise

If you want a lover, I'll do anything you ask me to. If you want another kind of love, well, I'll wear a mask for you. If you want a partner take my hand. Or if you wanna strike me down in anger, here I stand. I'm your man.

-Leonard Cohen.

Last weekend I went to see a Cindy Sherman photographic retrospective. Cindy Sherman is an out-and-about American artist that has this unique characteristic: she is the subject and the object of all her works. So after a couple of hours wandering and wondering in front of this lady's glance (from a chamber-maid costume, a clown wig, and a 'La Dolce Vita' -kind of- film still), the spectator ends up seizing a unique lady with such a strong personality that is utterly her no matter what she's wearing. The composition is beautiful, the communication very strong yet slightly unilateral. There was her posing and taking the picture, so the creation began in her head and found all the way through the printed paper.

The big thought of the week was however the masks we wear each day. Some people is good at hiding, so they accommodate to life as comes. Good manners is all about putting others at ease, an advisor says. It is easy to think that one's personality prevails over anything we want to hide, but I'm not that sure about it. There are people I meet that are so hard to guess that I end up giving up. Of course there are 'one-layered' individuals that do not require much effort, but I mean that barriers are there in the form of shyness of even good manners. What are we afraid of? Boundaries do not only keep people out - they set you in.

Going back to Cindy Sherman, the series that I liked the most was 'Pink Robes' (as her critics call it - she only numbers her photos). The pictures depict this lady in a robe, looking as if waking up. The intimacy and vulnerability that those items transmit is explained by the curator as 'naturligheden er en slags forklædning', 'naturalness is a kind of disguise'. Aren't we supposed to be at ease, at our best, when we do not pretend to be? Being 'natural' can also be overacted: I always brush my teeth before the morning coffee when I wake up with somebody, but not when I'm alone.

Post script: The picture on the left is a naked building. I loved its vulnerability and how happy it looks from the left angle whilst the right one has been teared off. Cheap allegory of any drama you can think of.

Sentimental Valiums

The true nature of love. Have you noticed that infatuation has the same effects of having a heart attack?

Cannot remember where I read it, but if I make a summary of the bits of pop junk I gladly saw this week (Shakespeare in Love, Grey's Anatomy, The O.C., Sex and the City and CNN), can conclude that human drama is repetition and repetition and repetition...

I remember that after the first snow this year, my boss got in the office saying: 'Amazing that the traffic was such a chaos. Like it had never snowed before!'

Whenever I fall in love, I feel nobody in the world might understand the feeling. Everything is new and bright, or dark and miserable, depending on the difficulty level. But why don't we humans ever give up? We fall and stand up, and fall again, and make the same mistakes, no matter how many times we see it in the movies. And by the way, I realised I don't fancy movies with happy endings - after 'The Secret Life of Words', I get really upset when the guy gets the girl.

I'd love to find the formula to go through life feeling numb, so I don't feel everything with the same passion. Shrink, new friends, remote friends, this guy I like, art, philosophy, La Chanson Francaise, work, future expectations, troubled mom, troubled best friend, gym, sushi nights, people in town, people out of town, treadmill challenge, book that I'm reading, travels to come... cannot mantain mystique while facing forward.

I'm pink, therefore I'm SPAM.

Not that inconvenient

Thanks to Mr Lee I saw 'An Inconvenient Truth' over the weekend. Granted that the graphs are impressive and it is actually a BIG deal the damage we are causing to our planet. There is something that I however don't get. The 'movie' was distributed by one of the big houses (was it Universal?) and the theme song even won an Oscar. When did the US began attacking the US? One might say that having Michael Moore's documentaries in Blockbuster is actually a proof of the freedom of speech... but 'the US and A' are legendary for their calculated steps. What lies behind this massive 'consciousness attacks'?

I read a study from Bristol University about why people fall in love. Same yadda-yadda on lust-love-oxytocin-adaptation, but there was an interesting experiment:

• Find a complete stranger.
• Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour.
• Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes.

York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun, has been studying why people fall in love. He asked his subjects to carry out the above 3 steps and found that many of his couples felt deeply attracted after the 34 minute experiment. Two of his subjects later got married.

The 'Inconvenient Truth' movie made me think that USA is playing politics' neurolinguistics - the provocations are not really provocations, all the effects are measured. If you see the movie thinking 'why is it so accessible?' and remember that the US refused to sign the Kyoto protocol, then Al Gore and all his good intentions look rather suspicious. And more due to the huge amount of money put into making his speeches known.

Despite Iraq, the petrol era seems to have reached an end due to the development of other non-fossil fuels, such as ethanol (which by the way, caused a shortage of corn in the US, hence the prices of corn in Mexico increased dramatically). Here's my hypothesis: the 'save the rainforest' Al Gore's speech wants to make oil less popular to drive the attention of the world from the producing countries and vindicate the US as the good guys. Bush beat Gore. And Bush is a petrol guy. It is about time for him to be the bad guy.

Anyway. Better to focus my attention on something else than world's evil mechanisms.

Carpe Diem=Seize the Day. Carp in Denim=Fish in pants.

I found Jesus...

...he was behind the sofa all the time!

Chaos Theory

I should hope that my success will have been to reach a higher level and love another. Not to make another an object but simply one to love. No colours, no paper and no questions.

This quote has been trying to tell me something since I read it. The separation between the material and the emotional search is quite a concept, but why only one to love? I would rather say only love.

Leonard Cohen lived for a while in a monastery. He said that things became a lot easier when he no longer expected to win. What I guess my favourite contemporary philosopher (Alexis D) has to say about reaching a higher level is precisely what Leonard Cohen intended-we are surrounded by so many material objects of desire that what the heart wants is very, very hidden. For that you need silence, don't you? And even love can be noisy, so what a dilemma.

Anyway, I figured out that one can surf through life sporting some 'Chaos Theory' - everything looks random, but there is an underlying pattern. Can chaos theory be applied to people, fate, relationships? Here's one idea: do not worry about the external randomness, but let the heart speak on what is 'not right' and the underlying pattern will be apparent.

Did I get it right?

It's a kind of magic

I felt asleep this morning at exactly 05:57 because the last thing I did was telling Max on the phone that being around him rocks. There are tons of good memories to warm up this cold Sat: my Danish name shall be 'Ingeborg' (?), gay bars have the best music, pretty shoes can kill you when walking on snow, and Billie Jean is not my lover.

The best was however a silent moment - while walking out from the bar, the first thing I saw was the Cathedral. I have never been there, but that was the first place my brother proactively visited when he was here (and showed me pictures... shame on Ingeborg). I thought about him and how small details can twist the path of fate.

Explaining: Little brother can say 'Stockholm' and I would drop everything and buy the Leica of my dreams. He makes me follow dreams, or at least test-drive them. One of my Copenhagean friends told me that he could not see the magic in people anymore. And that he doesn't feel others see his magic either. In my case, brother talks magic with every word he says because I am very receptive to his opinions.

The clue about understanding other human beings is the willing to do it. Making friends is actually NOT easy - requires for you to listen, listen, listen, so one day you understand and there are no explanations between the two of you needed. One definitely attract the friends one deserves. Guess I did something good in my past lives, because I find people around me absolutely fantastic...

If a person should ever like a person

Yesterday at lunch, Ana* said that Kundera is the kind of writer that you actually highlight and read again.

*Not Ana-me, a better version - Ana Segurado.

So now that I am revisiting 'Laughable Loves' have folded a lot of pages in the book. There's one concept that I have been chewing for the last days: Desire.

Exhibit A:

-It is well known that you are like death: you take everyone. Why do you reject Alzbeta?
-Perhaps because she expresses her desire in such an open way, that it feels like an order. Not even Death is pleased to take orders.

Exhibit B:

How was it possible that his desire was so strong that reality came running to the call, ready to happen?

Exhibit C:

-You are here. Did you change your mind?
-No. YOU changed my mind.

(Have to admit that the third quote comes from 'The O.C.')

So 'when you wish upon a star' are you actually making the magic happen? I don't really think so. But desire is something extremely tangible - the expression of it, its sensuality and corporalisation is how we can touch it. When desire comes both ways, there are sparkles, when it doesn't, we call it obssession and run away. We human beings are a bunch of chickens. And the egg was first.