All my Good Intentions

In a country that is majorly Catholic, nobody bothers asking about religion. What I would rather ask, if I wanted to add a person to the script of my life, is his/her stand on spirituality. See, my faith is quite shaky due to literary skepticism and some 'shit happens' situations of the past. The people around me, the really close ones, are however very strong in their beliefs of a superior force that puts harmony in the Universe and gives back your good and wrong doings. Some of them are bound to a religion; none of them is blinded by it.

During the past weeks, I started to have this feeling of warmth. It is shocking to realise how I went back and forth Europe, got into relationships, did parkour, and had several full-time jobs feeling completely on my own. I understood only recently the biblical quote that says: faith is the reality of things being hoped for, the proof of things not being seen.

So where does faith come from? I think that when you trust (someone, something, yourself), it just happens. Maybe having this one special person now in my life is helping to open the channels to belief. I feel safe, happy, cared for... quite at ease.

I thought about faith because this morning I am wearing my usual business gear and have underneath this bracelet braided with small pieces that were put together on prayer by a native huichol. So it actually may look worthless, but it comes from afar and carries with it all his good intentions... just like the feather in 'The Joy Luck Club'.

Can faith come from good intentions and a fantastic evening on the coach with my lovely luv? I am starting to believe it can...

Beautiful Disaster

There's people that just pass by, and others that stay. There's people for a year, for a summer, for the night. How to know? Kundera said that the beauty of life is that we do not have a draft of life to compare and do things differently.

So tonight I fall for the stars in his eyes. I am so impatient I wish I knew if he's beyond being a perfect piece of DNA and goes one layer deeper. I wish he does. He makes me feel at ease, he's so smart, so sweet, such an untold story.

But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster...

The deal about Muse

It is not that I became 'snob' on music or that I only like indie/alternative/rock/classic. I enjoy music in all kinds. Last week I saw 'This is It' and the way music got to each cell of the body of MJ is the way I idealize how this should be lived.

Let's take Muse against Red Hot Chili Peppers. Both are fantastic, both rock my world, but they are so different... sophistication versus very classic stuff.

Nothing more to brag about. American taste is in my opinion way less sophisticated than European. In everything. I hope one day the good guys win.

Blessed Unrest

This message is hard to write. What I want to end up saying is YOU: DO SOMETHING. There is a lot of torture, corruption, waste, environmental damage, violence... and love is supposed to be... umh... all around...

I have everything to lose. That's the first thing that comes to my mind when I look back and realise I joined Amnesty International. Some weeks ago, for the first time, I cried for something that was not myself and my really tiny love troubles... the world aches, we do have the right 'not to know' but also a major responsibility by sharing this planet -while we are around- with humans, animals, plants...


So, before 'Awakening the Dreamer' the shape of my heart was completely different. I thought that 'the power of one' was something rare and bond only to remarkable people. Being part of a cause was a waste of time - we were all doomed anyway.


What is 'Awakening the Dreamer'? In a nut-shell, it is the idea of healing the Earth. Like a cell, each human can be part of the immune system of the world through environmental sustainability, social justice and spiritual fulfillment.


So I am not chaining myself to embassies or becoming a full-time hippie. I still like getting my Vogue each month and jogging. There is however in me the 'blessed unrest' Paul Hawken talks about and each step I take from now on will aim at taking care of others outside myself. It is actually a very strong shift that if everybody experienced, could make living here easier - and here I do not talk only about the rainforest and the gorillas.


They say each mind is a world... so what if a few of us change our minds...


Awakening the Dreamer
Amnesty International

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly or how to stop feeling sorry for yourself

I deleted most of my last year's blogs.

For quite some time, there were no thoughts, no lyrics, no art. There was only being in some kind of love 24/7 that left me empty. I had no energy left to see the beauty (not that there was not some around).

It is not that everything lightened up now, but I saw Le Scaphandre et le Papillon and the biggest message from the movie is that when you stop feeling sorry for yourself, the world starts making sense. So many things to write, to see, to enjoy! And so little a life we have...

Le scaphandre et le papillon - trailer

Beautiful movie, amazing photography, really well acted. Not pathetic at all when telling the story of Jean-Dominique Bauby, the Elle Chief Editor who could only blink an eye after a massive stroke (and wrote a book before dying). I cannot imagine this being told by anyone different than Julian Schnabel. Hollywood? More light, better looking actors, action, action, action. It was perfect this way...

Happiness...

...is only real when it's shared.

Well, we've just seen 'Into the Wild' and did not suffer as much as when Marley (the dog) died, but still got this 'life lesson' feeling... argh, too much to bear for a Sunday evening!

What I thought about above statement on happiness is that I indeed found love given to people the most valuable, but there is also a lot of value in being with myself. See, when I was alone in Copenhagen (the first months) I had troubles being at peace. The issue was not the lack of fantastic people around, the issue was that I had to be 24/7 with Ana. Little by little I became used to enjoy my own time and company, but one day someone told me that you can get used to not needing people. 

So happiness, that warm gun... the Proust Questionnaire asks 'What is your idea of perfect happiness?' - for me it is not an idea it is many moments that make life span from bearable to fantastic. I decided that from now on I will focus on the fantastic. Shouldn't that be nice?

About hope, my new job and Obama

It's been a while since I followed CNN, but getting out of your bubble physically (currently in a short trip to Guatemala, writing from the airport), does help realising there's a world outside. So I felt like I should read Obama's inaugural address - you know, to get some ideas since I feel I am as well starting a new era with the change of job (though the same company), the knowledge of being at last the girlfriend of my boyfriend and in general the state of the affairs inside of my head.

I do not have an opinion on Obama but it kinda feels good that somebody who seems to have a brain stepped into the biggest shoes on Earth. His choices might affect my everyday life - that's a fact. So there were three things I'd like to highlight about his speech. He said:

1) Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age.

Hard choices, tough decisions, that is what got my attention. Easy decisions can make you sail peacefully towards something that can turn on right or wrong - hey, it is the nicest path, let someone else decide... who will ever take ownership when it involves being also the responsible of a catastrophe?

2) On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear.

So fear leads to anger, anger leads to the dark side. It is not that simple. Recently I was in a period where I was not dreaming (on demand) because I tried to live reality. I have never been sadest in my life. Fear is not only not knowing what lies ahead, but being pretty sure shit has a decent possibility of happening. If a politician relies on hope to motivate his people, why can't I to motivate the hamster in my head?

3) We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

Amen. It is not bad being a child in regards of enjoying life and making friends, but to 'choose our better history' is minding that what you do today does have an effect on the future. Karma, darma, schawarma.

4) Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions -- who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

And he talks about imagination meeting common purpose. I would say common sense though, and imagination comes again with the idea of dreaming.

Let's see. Let's hope. Let's dream.

Today's balance: Thicker skin

So I wanna say thank you, cause it...

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

-Christina Aguilera, Fighter

Kiddo

Pues he de decirte que en estos días tan llenos de activo, pasivo, tesorería, gente que aplica, gente que se va, cuentas, números, juntas, cierres... es siempre un placer dejar todo a un lado mientras comemos y hablamos de lo que de verdad importa. 

Quizá no lo sabes todo Kiddo, pero puedo decir que me conoces bien. También me has dejado ver tu vida sin barreras y tenemos planes tan divertidos que ya espero que sea ese día que hemos pospuesto porque la vida, nuestras parejas, la familia... se nos atraviesan. 

Qué fácil era hace unos meses, pero qué feliz es hoy. Gracias por estar. 

And who was the guy wearing Adidas sneakers?

Mexico 1968 - Tommie Smith and John Carlos do the 'black power' salute at the podium. In this Olympics, we've only seen an angry Swedish fighting his personal cause.

So many things happening in the world, so many more who prefer to believe there's nothing to do...